Nobody Has Life Wholesale

By Tim Akano

Every aeroplane that leaves the runway carries a flight plan. The pilot knows the destination, the fuel on board, and the alternate airport if the weather turns. Yet millions of young people take off into life with no destination, no fuel and no alternate, then wonder why the journey feels like turbulence. And here is the first truth no one tells you at take-off: nobody has life wholesale.

You have one shot at this life. Success visits many times, but your life, your body and your years come only once. That should focus you, not frighten you.

Depression is not rare, and it is not weakness. The WHO estimates that 5.7 per cent of adults worldwide live with it. The young carry a heavy share. In the US, 18.6 per cent of people aged 18 to 25 had a major depressive episode in a year, against 4.5 per cent of those aged 50 and over. In 2023, 40 per cent of American high-school students reported persistent sadness or hopelessness. That was 53 per cent of girls and 28 per cent of boys, up from 39 per cent and 21 per cent a decade earlier. Rates differ by nation, from about 6.5 per cent lifetime in China to 19.2 per cent in the United States, but researchers warn that these numbers measure both pain and a society’s willingness to name it. No race or nation is immune. Resilience is not a racial trait. It is built from family, faith, community, purpose and care.

Why are the young so exposed? Four wrong turns appear again and again.

Millions enter university to please a parent, chase a title, or follow a crowd. Then they spend years in lecture halls that feel like waiting rooms. Do not choose a course because it is fashionable. Follow your passion, or better, fall in love with your destiny. A student who loves the work will outwork, and outlast, a student who merely endures it.

THE WRONG CAREER

Choose what looks like fun, not only what looks like money. Money is a tool, and a necessary one. Poverty crushes the spirit, and I do not dismiss it. But money is a poor purpose. When the chips are down, it cannot comfort you, it cannot give you meaning, and it cannot make a job you dread feel like a calling. Build income on top of a vocation, not instead of one.

Marry for love, not for money, status, pressure or appearance. A marriage built on extraneous things tends to crack early, sometimes within weeks of the wedding, because the foundation was never the person. Love is not a feeling alone. It is respect, shared values and the decision to build together. Choose carefully, because the person beside you shapes your mind more than any book you will ever read.

Social media has become the cruellest measuring tape in history. Much of what you see there is staged, filtered, edited or simply made up. You are comparing your behind-the-scenes with strangers’ billboards. Such a race has no finish line, and everyone who runs it loses sleep and peace.

Your destiny is manufactured there. Your mouth is the door of that factory, and your eyes are its windows. What you think, what you proclaim with your mouth, and what you see and focus on all enter the factory and shape the product. The product is your destiny. Feed it with fear, complaint and excuses, and do not be surprised by what comes off the line. So kill negativity. Kill excuses. Speak what you intend to become. Look at what you intend to build. Positive words are no substitute for help when pain persists, but they are the raw material of a life worth living.

Every careless mistake costs more than its consequence. It costs confidence, and too many of them make the soul weary. Check facts before believing them, separate feeling from evidence, and learn from an error once instead of replaying it at midnight. Thinking solves a problem and ends. Rumination circles the same wound until it deepens.

Nobody has life wholesale. Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Oprah Winfrey, Aliko Dangote, Folorunsho Alakija, including this writer: the richest, the most famous, the most powerful among us. Every one of them has more wealth or influence than you, and every one of them has a cup that is not 100% full. Wealth buys comfort, not completeness. Everyone holds life in retail, with pains the public never sees. Nobody has it all, so stop waiting for a life with nothing missing.

The most valuable skills are collaborative: teamwork, listening, empathy, handling conflict. Emotional intelligence deserves a place in the curriculum beside mathematics. The world is built by people who walk together.

The new media brings joy and connection, but an endless scroll quietly steals the hours in which a life is built. For Gen Z, the discipline to put the screen down may be the most important skill of all.

Your child is not a project, and your dream is not their destiny. Do not force a course or a career or a spouse. Ask what they love, and listen longer than you speak. Watch for the signs: withdrawal, lost interest in what once excited them, changes in sleep, talk of hopelessness. Do not answer pain with shame. Answer it with presence, and with a doctor or counsellor when it persists. Depression is a treatable condition, not a flaw of character, and psychological treatment is the first line of care. Yet in the US, only 61% of adults with a major depressive episode received any. Read this with your children, and send it to another parent.

When there is life, there is hope. One failure is a chapter, not the book. You can change your course, your career, your circle and your story. If the thought of ending your life ever visits you, it is a sign of pain, not a verdict on your future. Tell someone today: a parent, a friend, a teacher, a doctor, or a crisis line in your country. Say no to suicide, and say yes to help. Share this with a friend who has gone quiet.

BEFORE YOU CLOSE THIS PAGE, pause and ask yourself three questions. What did I feed my mind this week? What did my mouth declare over my life? And who around me is quietly carrying more than they show?

Somewhere tonight, a young person is sitting in the dark, deciding whether tomorrow is worth it. They may be your child, your student, your friend. The right words, at the right moment, from the right person, have turned such nights around. Today, that person could be you.

You have one shot, and so does everyone you will forward this to. Aim it high. Walk it with others. And when the weather turns, ask for help and keep flying. Remember, the darkest part of the night is the closest to the morning.

Pass it on. One message can change one life, and one life can change a generation.

Tim Akano is a youth mentor, public intellectual and pan-Africanist, Founder and CEO of New Horizons Africa Group, and founder of the Almajiri-to-Tech Foundation and the Tim Akano Foundation. Timakano1@gmail.com | www.timakano.com